I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
