im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
