Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
