so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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