I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
What drink are we having for lunch?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
