Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
