It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
