I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just pee around me
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
