so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
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