FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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