I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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