We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
