I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
