guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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