Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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