I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
