yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
