He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
