nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
