You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
