Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
