um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
