Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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