Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
