I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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