Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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