Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize