I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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