Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
