2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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