another moral hangover. fuck.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
