Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
