Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
