Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
