Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
