I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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