Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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