Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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