We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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