he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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