he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
