Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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