In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
