If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
