im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
