I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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