It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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