How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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