I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
