tell your sister to shave her snatch
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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