He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
